Friday, June 24, 2011

Cheez it pleez


I don't know what it is about Ellie and carbohydrates.  I can't believe the hype that all kids with spectrum disorders like brown and crunchy (although that kid hasn't met a cracker she didn't love).  I think that it's a predictable texture, and this girl is all about predictability and routine.  I read the same book--Click Clack Moo--to her for a year and a half at afternoon nap time (before a bad spring forward ruined afternoon nap forever and she would only nap with me, in my bed, every day, which led to...problems).  She only likes dresses with pants.  She only drinks water.  She only plays Hogs and Kisses on Angry Birds, not any of the other varieties, although she is interested now in the monkeys in Rio.  She already has mastered my move, which is to control, control, control in order to alleviate anxiety.  Unfortunately, it took me almost 40 years to realize that the control is a facade, the anxiety will still bubble over, and the results can be difficult to bear.  I want to teach Ellie better tools than I was taught (none).  I want to show her that life isn't a thing to be managed; it's an adventure to live.  You just gotta remember to pack your crackers.